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I’ve been to four sex-themed resorts and a relationship retreat. I went to two of them on my own, and three of them with my partner, and I had different experiences with each. But I will tell you one thing about them all: They were an adventure.

Sex vacations and adult resorts are growing increasingly popular, with attractions like sex shows, erotic massages (we’ll get to that later), and playrooms for public sex. Many people I’ve spoken to at these places enjoy the nudity aspect because it removes one major way people tend to judge one another: their clothes. They also like the ability to be as sexual as they want without censoring themselves.

Still, what you get out of any trip you take as a couple depends on what you put in. Couples and sex therapist Marissa Nelson, LMFT tells Bustle that you'll need to put aside your computers, phones, and lives back at home for at least a good chunk of the trip. 'Take the time to have in-depth conversations about your future together, what you want to achieve personally and as a couple,' she says.

If you go to one of the following places for a sex vacation, though, staying present probably won't be an issue. There's just way too much excitement that you won't want to miss. Here’s the low-down on every sexually adventurous vacation I’ve been on.

This four-star couples-only resort has an upscale Italian restaurant, a hibachi restaurant, and more, plus a pool with foam parties and other fun events, a spa that offers “erotic massages,” a disco with a “playroom” for public sex, and a jacuzzi where people get rowdy every evening. It’s common to see people have sex on the chairs outside the hot tub (I even saw people clap after one couple finished), but if you don’t want to partake in those antics, guests are just as happy sipping cocktails and making conversation. I’ve never met a group of people so simultaneously sexually open and respectful of boundaries.

If you want all the perks of Desire Riviera Maya with a bit less, er, stimulation, Desire Pearl might be more up your alley. In the five-star couples-only resort’s beautiful rooms, butlers will deliver you fresh chocolate-covered strawberries and wine every day, and you can spend the day lounging in big beds on the beach or chairs by the pool. The jacuzzi’s also home to raunchy conversation and the occasional couple fooling around, though I saw less public sex here. The Desire resorts also all have nightly “theme nights” where guests dress up and staff members put on shows, followed by dancing at the disco if the day's activities haven't worn you out.

Some fans of Cancun’s Temptation resort say it's “spring break for adults.” It’s known for its topless beach and pools, which are less upscale than Desire's and not completely clothing-optional, though it’s not as Girls Gone Wild-like as you might fear. Guests spend the day in the “sexy pool,” where people bob along to DJs and live bands in the water, and then dance the night away at the outdoor nightclub. The resort is also home to a huge variety of restaurants, most notably including She, which serves seven-course meals full of aphrodisiacs.

This couples’ and singles’ retreat isn’t as sexually adventurous as the others — it takes place at regular, clothing-required resorts (the one I went to was at The Crane in Barbados) — but it may be perfect if you’re not comfortable with public sex or nudity but still want to work on your sex life. It includes several couples' therapy sessions, and one is devoted to sex. I went through the singles’ program, which is probably a little different, but I had some major breakthroughs in my attitude toward relationships. And aside from the therapy, you also get delicious dinners, time at the spa, and tours around a beautiful setting.

After going to all these places, I’m a believer in going out of your sexual comfort zone for couples’ vacations. If you want that exciting feeling you got when your relationship was new, it's important to do new things together. And if these experiences are anything, they're definitely new.

Experts:

Marissa Nelson, LMFT, Couples and sex therapist

Sitting one mile above sea level in the beautiful Rocky Mountains, Denver is a fabulous place. Surrounded with crisp fresh air and people who embrace the free spirit vibe of its stunning natural surroundings, Denver is a city that is a delight to live in as it is to visit. Denver hookups are alive and well in this magnificent city.

For those of us lucky enough to live in Denver we are fully aware of the warmth and friendliness offered by our fellow residents. Even though the formal city limits of Denver is home to over 700,000 people and the larger Denver metropolitan area brings into the fold a total of 2.8 million inhabitants, Denver still retains that sense of cozy comfort that is not commonly found in the majority of large cities.

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For those of you who are seeking to discover other people in Denver for casual encounters and hookups, the nature of our city and our people make it very conducive for that purpose. In Denver, people tend to be friendlier, warmer — more welcoming. This includes the single population that lives here.

In Denver, our community lifestyle is one which is as inquisitive as it is laid-back. This reflects directly on the dynamic of the casual encounter scene that we have in Denver.

— State of the Hookup Scene in Denver —

In Denver, you can live a richly cosmopolitan lifestyle just as easily as you can live a more sedate and natural existence. Thanks to this apparent dichotomy of lifestyles, our dating pool is broader and more enriched than that in cities of comparable size. First, it allows people who are only interested in meeting partners similar to themselves a large enough grouping of people to never be short of potential partners. Likewise, the intermingling of lifestyles and outlooks creates an opportunity for people of different backgrounds and outlooks to mingle and engage in casual encounters and Denver hookups.

When you take into consideration the demographics of our population, you can further identify why Denver is so “hookup friendly.” You will find a significant presence of different ethnic backgrounds in Denver — African-American, Asian, and Hispanic, everyone living in harmony. You will also find a wide breadth of age groups among those who identify themselves as seeking casual encounters. The majority fall in the 18 to 35 age bracket. However, those in the 35 to 49 and the 50-plus crowd, still manage to represent 21 percent of Denver’s dating pool.

All of these reasons taken together are what create the casual encounter zeal within our community.

— Where to Meet People for Casual Encounters in Denver —

Even during the decades of peak popularity for singles bars — the 70s and 80s — Denver never developed an intense singles bar scene as many of the other major cities in the United States did during that same time period. Likewise, during the 90s and the first decade of the 2000s when trendy nightclubs where the place to meet people for hookups, Denver, while having its fair share of hip night spots, always followed its own beat when it came to how local residents met for hooking up.

Some of you may remember how in the 90s it was a thing to hang out in sports bars during Broncos or Nuggets games and after the game was over, use those places for meeting potential partners for Denver hookups. To a degree, that is still a thing, but not at the scale that it once was. Today, single people in Denver rely on online hookup platforms to discover and meet potential partners for casual encounters.

These adult hookup platforms are similar to online dating sites but are structured to focus exclusively on casual encounters. People in Denver have come to rely on these sites to find compatible partners year-round.

From the comfortable and outdoorsy months that cover late spring through late summer, to the months of peak freezing temperatures of winter, meeting someone for a hookup that same day or upcoming weekend is a snap in Denver when you rely on one of the popular hookup sites in the area.

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— The Most Popular and Effective Sites for Denver Hookups —

1- InstantHookups

InstantHookups is considered a relative newcomer to the online hookup scene. Even so, in Denver, it has fully cemented its credentials and reputation as being a go-to site for meeting like-minded adults for casual fun.

The look and design of the InstantHookups platform are geared toward the younger end of the dating spectrum. The core of its membership base is below the age of 32. However, if you are a single person in your mid-to-late 30s, 40s, or even 50s — don’t worry. At least as far as Denver is concerned, InstantHookups does have a decent number of active users in those age groups — 20 to 25 percent of its Denver user base to be precise.

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InstantHookups takes an expedited approach toward the entire hookup process. The site prides itself on helping users get to the “real world” stage of casual encounters in the fastest and most unobtrusive way possible.

How InstantHookups Works

To accomplish this, InstantHookups does away with what it considers to be unnecessary components on its platform. This has resulted in the site having a user interface which is uncluttered and highly intuitive to use. It takes but a few minutes for new users — even if they have never used another hookup site in the past — to feel right at home on InstantHookups.

In Denver, users of the service that have been surveyed concur with the overall stats touted by the site regarding its success rate. In Denver, the success rate of users on the platform is above 88 percent within the first two weeks of becoming a member. Success in this case being defined as having a real-world casual encounter with someone you met on the site. This is even higher than the overall national average for InstantHookups which is 80 percent.

If you prefer an online hookup platform that is uncomplicated but effective, InstantHookups is an ideal choice.

2- AdultFriendFinder (AFF)

Even if you have never used an online hookup site in the past, the brand recognition associated with AdultFriendFinder is such that you have likely heard of it before. The fame and recognition associated with AdultFriendFinder are due to the fact that it is literally one of the pioneers of the industry. It is no exaggeration to refer to AdultFriendFinder as one of the original templates for what online hookup sites are today.

In Denver, AdultFriendFinder, also known simply as AFF, has been popular with the Denver hookups scene since the site first went live worldwide in 1996. Initially, the number of AFF members residing in Denver numbered in the low thousands. By the year 2000, however, the membership figures from this area escalated to the high five digits. Since then, it has experienced sustained growth in popularity. This means that today you will find over 75,000 local members of AFF eager to meet like-minded adults for casual encounters on the platform.

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How AFF Differs

Unlike InstantHookups, which takes a more streamlined and simplified approach at helping you find compatible partners, AFF takes a more thorough approach. This methodology is well received by those who wish to exercise a greater degree of control in finding a compatible partner. The search engine found on AdultFriendFinder is among the strongest in the industry. It can literally provide you with suggested searches tailor-made to your preferences. The search attributes that you can filter for include those related to physical appearance, personality, and sexual desires.

AdultFriendFinder has continuously flourished in Denver not only because of its powerful search tool for helping its users find casual encounter partners but also because of the way that it has managed to evolve into a community in its own right. When you join AFF you not only gain access to the powerful matchmaking technology behind it, but you also become part of a very open-minded and discreet community.

This community aspect of AFF makes it especially appealing to those who are extremely interested in hooking up but whose personality may not be as outgoing as others. For these individuals, the more community-oriented features offered by AFF can become channels of choice for meeting like-minded adults for fun.

These alternate channels on AFF consist primarily of user-created forums and chat rooms. They use an approach different from the traditional search engine to bring people together. At any given time, you can find multiple forums and chat rooms dedicated to the casual encounter scene in Denver.

Due to the fact that they are genuinely user-created, the atmosphere found on these channels is laid-back and casual. They are also administered by people who live in Denver and are very welcoming of those people who are new to the hookup scene. These forums and chat rooms make an ideal place to learn the ropes and potentially meet your first casual encounter partner.

Why You’ll Definitely Hook Up in Denver Using AFF

With over 75,000 members residing in the greater Denver area and over 80 million members worldwide, AdultFriendFinder is a true powerhouse in the casual encounter scene. Proven to deliver results and affordably-priced, it is practically impossible to go wrong with an AFF membership if you live in Denver. All it takes is a bit of engagement on your part and you can easily find someone worthy of hooking up with on AFF.

3- Ashley Madison

Ashley Madison is a specialized type of online hookup site. It concentrates on helping people who are involved in an existing relationship meet others for one-time or occasional affairs. Some refer to it as a “cheating site.” That term, however, casts an unnecessary shadow on what Ashley Madison actually provides to its Denver users.

Yes, it does allow people to meet others for extramarital affairs, but it also assists a large number of users who are not involved sentimentally with anyone to also hook up. As such, even if you personally have qualms with the concept of cheating, being a member of Ashley Madison does not necessarily make you a cheater.

The most recent confidential survey of Ashley Madison users in Denver reveals that close to 40 percent of its local membership base is not involved in an active relationship. Understanding this fact will give you a clearer idea of what to expect when you join Ashley Madison.

Ashley Madison in Denver

In Denver, the local user base is full of single men and women, both gay, straight, and bisexual. You will also find couples on the site seeking their own piece of fun.

While in some cities the users of Ashley Madison do limit its functionality to that of the stereotypical cheating site, in Denver, it provides for a broader and more pragmatic reach. In other words, you can use it as a cheating site if you wish but you can also use it as a standard hookup platform.

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Women are able to make use of all of the site’s features for free. Men are given the option of using a pay-as-you-go membership model which allows them to only pay for the time that they are active on the site.

In terms of privacy and security, following a hacking incident that the site experienced in 2015, it has become one of the strongest and most reliable hookup platforms when data security is involved. Independent IT security audits conducted on the Ashley Madison platform confirm this assessment.

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If you want to improve your hookup game in Denver, Ashley Madison is a platform that you should seriously consider joining.

— Finding Denver Hookups Is Easy Provided You Know Where to Look —

By knowing which online hookup sites are the most popular with the singles of Denver, you have increased your chances of enjoying the company of a like-minded adult for a casual encounter exponentially. It does not matter the time of year, the sites listed above have been proven to provide real-world results continuously.

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If you are not fond of the idea of having to go out in public, spend time and money trying to get someone’s number, the use of online hookup sites in Denver eliminates all of that. More importantly, the use of those sites will actually help you in hooking up in a matter of a few hours all from the comfort of your own home.