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‘Honestly, HopefulGirl, my problem isn’t that I have issues around dating – it’s that I never meet any single Christian men,’ a reader told me. ‘I’m starting to believe they’re mythical creatures, like unicorns!’
‘I meet girls at work and through friends, but never any that share my faith,’ said a guy online. ‘There’s only one single lady at my church, and she’s nearly 80!’
Most Christians in the UK belong to small churches, often without much contact with other congregations, so meeting like-minded singles can sometimes seem like a fantasy. However, there are ways to expand your Christian social circle. Whether you’re outgoing and adventurous, or shy and quiet, there’s something for you. So make 2015 the year you stop seeing the same few faces every week, and start a whole new social life…
1. Christian online dating
Of course, we have to start here! But there’s no quicker way to expand your horizons than to upload a profile and start browsing. Within minutes, you can be chatting to people you might never otherwise encounter, even if you live down the road from them. Lots of people have met partners this way – check out the success stories at Christian Connection.
2. Speed dating and singles parties
During my years on the Christian singles scene, I boosted my social life with singles parties, speed dating, singles pub quizzes and lock-and-key parties. With a positive attitude and an outgoing approach, these events can be lots of fun, while bringing you into contact with other singles looking for love. Two married couples in my own church met at Christian Connection speed dating events! Check out CC’s sister site Events for Christians or search online for events organisers in your area.
3. Volunteering on Christian projects
Donating some of your time to church-linked projects is a great, low-pressure way to encounter people outside your usual circle who share your values. I know couples who met while helping out at homeless charities, mission outreaches, church choirs and Christian radio stations. Even joining the tea rota at your own church gives you a chance to get to know other volunteers you may not normally talk to, and to say hello to every church member and visitor.
4. Local Christian social groups
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For get-togethers with believers in your area, there’s a growing network of established and well-run social groups around the country. Some are specifically for singles, while others are open to anyone, and they meet for pub lunches, walks, barbecues and outings. Some post their events on Events for Christians. If you can’t find a local group, drop me a line on Facebook and I’ll try to help.
5. Your own meet-ups
If there’s no group in your area (and goodness knows, I’ve tried and failed to find groups in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, so please tell me if you know of any), how about organising a meet-up yourself? A walk or pub lunch is cheap, doesn’t take much organising, and is suitable for most ages, interests and abilities. There’s a dedicated Meetups page on Christian Connection where members arrange their own outings. Or you can set up (or search for) one in your area on www.meetup.com (a mainstream international website that links up people with shared interests and activities).
6. Christian festivals, events and holidays
I met two serious boyfriends at Christian festivals, so I’ve got a good track record for those! And who doesn’t know at least one married couple who met on an Oakhall (aka ‘Bloke Hall’!) holiday? There are a number of events organisers and holiday companies on whose excursions you’ll meet people from a variety of churches. Some companies, such as Network Christians, run trips and outings specifically for singles.
7. Inter-church socials
I’d love to see churches organising more inter-church social events. Our churches are often isolated little islands, and more fellowship between congregations would be healthy for everyone, not just singles. If you have a church social event coming up, ask your leaders if you can send invitations to neighbouring churches. Or arrange one – sort out drinks, nibbles and some light music, and invite other local congregations. You could also start a church film club, book club or sports team, and invite other churches to join or play matches.
It’s good to mingle and exchange experiences with other believers. As for meeting a nice partner – well, that would be the cherry on the cake!
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Do you have any other suggestions for expanding your Christian social circle? We’d love to hear your ideas and experiences!